We need a way to get back to ourselves.

We can be facing a problem so complex, or so many simultaneously, that we fall prey to turmoil.

In that state, we move forward without really knowing where we are going, push mindlessly to advance and find solutions, but what if we are going in the complete opposite direction of where we are supposed to?

No good decisions can come from that state of confusion and urgency. We need to snap out of it, but how long can it take?

It can be a few hours, days, months, or even years to recover from a blow.

We need a way out of the turmoil and back to ourselves. The framework ‘What, So what, Now what’ is the method we will use to recover from the hit and come back up.

We will accomplish this by determining precisely what the source of our problem is and the context around it, then understanding what we did right and wrong, and finally translating that into action and learning.

What, so what, now what

The ‘What, so what, and now what’ framework follows the principle of looking at things objectively, finding relevance and meaning in them, and taking action.

The first step is the ‘what’, whose purpose is to observe, define, and describe the problem. To solve the puzzle, we need the pieces. Not only do we discover what it is, but also describe it, the circumstances around it, and everything that we judge relevant.

In the ‘so what’, we will use our clear what and context to make sense out of them. We try to understand, analyze, and even discover what could have been better, or what we did well. Now that we have the pieces, we put them together.

The ‘now what’ puts to use the ‘what’ and the ‘so what’. Here, our focus is to transform the situation into action and learning. Sometimes we still have a chance to act, to do something about our problem. However, when chances are gone, damage done, and actions taken, we still can learn about what went wrong, what was right, and what could have been done better.

A starting point to come back to ourselves

Through the process of ‘what, so what, and now what,’ we not only build the necessary information to make a decision, but also help us come back from that place of turmoil by shedding light on the obscure parts of what happened and transitioning from mindless to deliberate action.

We may feel bad, but do we know what exactly we are feeling? If we don’t know what is wrong or its circumstances, how can we expect to understand them? We may be looking at something that is not even the problem.

We may be feeling rage, sadness, or fear. But where do these emotions come from? What caused them? If we don’t know why we feel the way we do or what is happening, how can we pretend to make things better? We may be explaining everything wrong.

So we know where our rage, sadness, or fear comes from and why. But what would be the use of knowing what is wrong and the meaning behind it, but not taking action or learning from it? How can we pretend to decide on something we don’t know or understand? We may be moving toward nowhere.

The steps in this process help us dissect these different parts, always having as the beginning the crucial question of ‘what is wrong?’, then ‘why is it wrong? and ‘what do we do now with it?’.

Questions to get back to ourselves

To come back from turmoil, first we have to recognize we are in it.

The idea is not to fall for the urgency, even though we may have all the reasons to. We need to break its momentum, so we stop.

If the situation allows it, go for a walk, drink water, or splash it on your face. If not, take a couple of seconds to breathe and recover your composure.

Then we can begin to ask ourselves questions.

The whole process is, in essence, asking ourselves the right questions. You can use the following questions to start. However, if you make up your own from your specific circumstances, they will be more effective.

What

We ask questions regarding what is happening, the nature of it, and any other information we deem important. Besides discovering ‘what’, this also helps to ease the urgency we feel to act hastily. We ask…

What is happening?
What am I feeling?
What is the problem?
What is my goal?

More often than not, we will have many problems, each yelling for our attention. If we write down each one and treat them separately, we will find that they are easier to identify, describe, and even solve.

So what

Once we have a good grasp of what the problem is and the circumstances that surround it, we need to extract meaning from it; we need to understand why things developed the way they did, look for what was rightly done, and what could have been better. We ask ourselves…

So what made me feel that way?
So what caused that?
So what went right or wrong?
So what could have been better?

When we think about the ‘what if…’, there is a fine line we need to look out for, which is thinking too much about possible scenarios. Remember that the goal is to find improvements, not a perfect way of behaving or recounting over and over again the wrongs. Don’t go too deep into the rabbit hole.

Now what

Sometimes it is obvious what we need to do, if we have understood what happened, how it did, and the possible improvements. However, knowing what to do and doing it are quite different.

To leap from theory to be pragmatic, we ask ourselves…

Now what can we do?
Now, what can we do next time?
Now, what can we learn from this?
Now, what can we change?

We may find many actions and lessons from these questions; we write them down, and we choose only two of them, or just one. This will make our commitment to them easier to fulfill.

Getting hit, coming back up

Now that we know what to ask ourselves to find the necessary pieces, we will put them together and discover their meaning, then we will decide how to act, what to learn, and in what direction we want to change. We can make the process as brief or as extensive as we need it to be.

The most important thing is to remember that when we are in the middle of that turmoil, and we feel the urgency to move forward and act mindlessly, no good decision can come from that state, even if sometimes we get lucky.

Instead, we recognize how we feel, take a pause, and search for the clarity we find by coming back to ourselves. So we look for a clear understanding of our objective or problem, make sure to understand it, and how we can act and grow from it.

We will get hit by problems. We will fall. Yet, snapping out of the turmoil is easier. Then, when we are facing vexing problems, we are more confident not only in our ability to solve them, but also to come back up.

Now we have a way back to ourselves.