An unncessarily lonely walk
This lonely walk, or the fervent belief that we have to put the weight of life on solely our backs, deprives us of what life and our nature have to offer.
We have the ability to surmount any obstacle that comes in our way and adapt to any possible destiny. Yet, we can go further, be happier, and have a more abundant journey by recognizing our innate need for connection.
It is not that we pass on the weight to other people, but rather they represent a place where we can lay down the load, rest, hear about their ups and downs, and talk about our own. Not only can we rely on our garden, but also on those maintained by people dear to us. Together we become more than we are.
Self-sufficiency falling short
The struggle for self-sufficiency, I understand.
We strive to cultivate in ourselves everything we need to avoid being vulnerable, to be at the mercy of fewer forces, to be the only thing we ever knew, or prove to the very person reading these lines, or someone else,that we can. And we do; we can do so much on our own. This internal strength, the ability to find answers and energy within, is something we must cultivate and take pride in.
However, I hardly imagine the world working as an immense number of individuals isolated from one another, doing everything they need to exist.
Wired for connection
When we are connected, we are so much more than ourselves.
We can count on the strength of others. When the storm is around, or it is a sunny day, we can find shelter in their gardens, be welcomed by a warm smile, be heard by an attentive ear, be looked at and recognized, receive wise counsel if we ask, even though their mere presence sparks joy in our hearts. The people we love don’t have to be directly involved in each of our fights to be an essential part of our lives.
Everything we experience will be far greater together. We feel their victory as ours, and the pain in their tears. Likewise, our cries are felt, our joys celebrated, and our burden is shared. We communicate our thoughts and emotions in a simple exchange of looks. We are intertwined.
We can try to avoid our need for connection, but not without contorting ourselves in all sorts of ways. And even if we succeed, we would lose.
Independent together
We have both gardens. The fact that we have our resources doesn’t mean we have to refuse what other people can offer us. We can nurture each other. We can be independent together.
We can always come back to ourselves. We must tend our garden; we have to pull the weeds, water our plants, observe the butterflies posing on the flowers, and discover new ways to enrich our internal landscape even further. Here, where we find our peace and look for answers, the sum of all we have done and experienced, who we are, is no longer just for us. We also share this sanctuary with the people we love. A place where they can also be heard, be seen, and receive a warm welcome.
Amid chaos, not only are we certain that we can fall back on ourselves, but also on the garden of our beloveds. We will discuss how to best care for our plants, how to deal with pests, and, on some days, simply enjoy each other’s company over a cup of black tea. On our way back, we will be bringing gifts from them. In our beautiful interactions, our gardens change, and neither is the same.
A pleasant walk
Tend your own garden; there is vast richness in there. However, don’t ignore our need for connection or the depth that comes with it. If we decide to stay exclusively in ourselves, we will lose the opportunity to see through others’ eyes, to know beyond what we know, or be inspired by their character. Many colors and nuances would be lost. Instead, pursue both.
Be aware that we can always come back to ourselves, that we are so much more when we are together, and that we can rely on the strength of others and our own.
So, dispense with this lonely walk, look forward to being independent together, and let’s transform each other’s worlds.
